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Wed, 26 February 2014 10:00:53 +0000
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So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said 'You've been promoted'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I Said 'I careered off the road.'

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Wed, 26 February 2014 02:53:17 +0000
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If a man does his best, what else is there?

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Wed, 26 February 2014 01:54:52 +0000
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Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

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Tue, 25 February 2014 19:08:59 +0000
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I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.

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Tue, 25 February 2014 12:52:28 +0000
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Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.

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Tue, 25 February 2014 11:09:43 +0000
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Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.

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Tue, 25 February 2014 03:36:42 +0000
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For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.

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Tue, 25 February 2014 01:33:25 +0000
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Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.

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Mon, 24 February 2014 19:22:21 +0000
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I'd stop eating chocolate, but I'm no quitter.

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Mon, 24 February 2014 12:41:42 +0000
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If you are going through hell, keep going.

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